The Straw That Broke The Doggie's Back

Alas, I return to my writing woes with not as much hair as I anticipated having upon my return...yes, I fear that my lack of follicle frenzy has left me with little deep thought to share with my captive audience. But today...yes, today...I was struck quite hard by profound thought when my human got up early AGAIN...and left me with a closed treat cabinet...and I felt the need to spread my doggy whine...

I HAVE NO TREATS!!! Can you believe the nerve of my human to maintain herself as being so busy that she can't even stop at the doshdogarned Trader Joe's and pick me up several hundred boxes of my delectable doggie treats?? I mean, I am down to mere crumbs...and she doesn't even have the gall to act the least bit concerned. Instead, she thinks that shreds of her own food count as my "daily" treats...well! I have news for her...they count for nothing more than explorations in my taste testing of the entire world...they do not count as my treats!!!

Where is the compassion? Where is the sentiment? Where are the treats!!! Ask not, good humans and faithful, fat dogs what you can do for each other or the betterment of the world...but ask HOW you can bring me more treats!!! I pine, I shrivel, I yelp at the mock horror of my situation...and my lack of treats!!! WANT TREATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In light of my whining, I wanted to add that I do have several fellow canines down in the southern regions of the country that could also use some special treats sent to them...or in the very least, donations to the humane societies down there...in fact, I pledge that all treats I have been denied of for the past week will be sent down to those poor, desparate doggies...actually, I would not mind if one or two of them came to visit me till their homes were restored to working order...

The only other thing I can think of to make my human more focused on my dwindling supply of treats is to figure out how to get her to stay home...and not goto that YUCKY workplace where she spends all day tolling or socializing or staring into space rather than out shopping in all the delectable doggie barkeries for my TREATS!!! I guess I'll have to unleash my book sooner than I anticipated...so if I am silent...well, I'm laboring on my human's behalf...

Signing off by my EMPTY food bowl....

One Skinny Frankie Dog.