I Bit the Wine Bottle...and It Bit Back!

I really do wish that some ingenious poodle (they say those dogs are highly intelligent...though I find their curls a bit too perfect and disturbing for my own taste) would come out with a line of Delectable Doggie Drinks to make the schmooze and the peruse of the holiday season a little more festive. I mean, I'm all about my stainless steel dish filled with Brita-esque ice cold water...but a doggie likes a dash of flavor and color now and again. And what better time than the holiday season for a pooch to get a little pesky and demand some partaking in the holiday spirit all on his own?

So, since those poodles aren't using their noodles like they are trained to do...I tried to take matters into my own paws. My human just came home from some holiday frolick or the other and left her bag of good things on the floor as she cleaned off the dishes. I KNOW...she TORTURES ME...she comes home with a dish that held CRAP DIP and SHE DOESN'T GIVE ME ANY OR LET ME LICK OUT THE DISH!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I stuck my nose into that bag to see what else she had in there and I saw this lovely, glowing bottle of what could only be described as the wine that will take the whine out of my whine...so I tried to dislodge the screw cap. See, my human partakes in wine that is canine-friendly...well, actually she has a cork-removal deficiency...but I don't think I could open a cork anyways. I bit the top of the bottle...and low and behold, the doggone bottle BIT ME BACK!!!!!! I jumped about 7.5 inches high...and ran away with my lovely tail between my legs. EVIL EVIL AUSTRALIAN WINE!!!

So, this is my plea for a smart canine...no goldens or poodles...to come up with some doggie drinks that don't bite back, are canine-cap friendly and that will spread a little sparkle in my otherwise bland bowl of water.